This week, I stumble upon the next step in recovery- sort of making amends part. When I broke down in the summer, I was in too bad of a state to be able to handle the work I had, which was for an internship. I had done well on that internship so far, but in the last week of it I had to finish one project, and I was too busy with PTSD, panic attacks and flashbacks, not eating and not sleeping…every time I started working on it, I broke down to pieces, because it was in my major, and it was supposed to be the thing I’m best at, but I felt like a ghost. Here’s the thing though.
I dropped the project and all of it for months. Not saying anything. Just…stopped. Figuring out how to continue breathing seemed more essential at the time. Continue reading