For weeks at a time lately, I have proudly acknowledged every tiny progress I have made in my recovery. Mostly because it reminded me of where I want to go.
Since my last post? Well, I apologized to a friend with which we had falling out since the time I was dealing with the rape(which she doesn’t know about, of course). I did a little work, like, 2 hours of actual work. I studied a bit Spanish, did concentration exercises, meditated and painted my nails. I journal-ed, blogged, read part of a novel, a magazine, and some of a really good book about recovery from rape. I wrote few pages of a new story. I caught up on few emails to friends. Yes, these are tiny things to do in 48 hours, but still, I felt nice and balanced for making good progress.
While I was feeling that I’m setting aside too much time for recovery and guilty to a point of breaking for all the things I didn’t do, I haven’t managed to do a lot. The guilt was too much, and it started eating away at me.
And so I let it go for the benefit of trying to be healthy and take recovery at my own pace. And one simple email reminds me that while I have lived in my own world concentrating on small fights and forgetting there is a world outside moving at a lot quicker pace. Continue reading
